Introduction
What I changed in my introduction was the way I worded my claim and made it easier to see as you read the paper. No, I didn’t change the opening sentences because it was basically giving the info of the articles I researched and talked about the different types of mindsets. Yes, I introduced my sources better by stating at the beginning of my intro rather than them get lost deeper in my introduction. And yes I made changes to the thesis clear and made my paper better.
Evidence and Explanations
I focused on adding more info onto the trigger warning section which is the second to last paragraph. I was too vague with the info that I was trying to state as the paragraph went on. I was told by Olivia to add more examples of how trigger warnings are implicated in today’s world and provide a true understanding of the topic. Also, I added my explanations on my quotes so they were easier to read for not only me but the reader as well. But overall I feel like I added a lot into it and made it an even better paper.
Reorganization
No, I didn’t move any paragraphs at all. The only thing I did was go more in-depth of my evidence part when and after I provided the quote making it a little harder to interpret. Yes, I moved some statements in the first paragraph to make my claim easier to see. But what I moved around was the order in which I told my claim so it would be right towards the beginning of the paragraph.
New Paragraphs
The only new paragraph I made was the conclusion with Olivia because I knew what I wanted to say but it was too hard to put in the paper so she helped me out there. Also I added and expanded on the second to last paragraph to add more of the relatable factor to the paper. And this improved my paper because it shows my viewpoint of my paper.
